This is so off-base but I have to get it off my chest.
I am THE worst sister a brother could ever have...seriously.
I know I've shared my worries and anxieties about my brother,
Army Ranger Ethan Graves, over the past couple of months. Short recap: My brother is in Afghanistan fighting in the war.
Over the past couple of months I have had these random, off the wall, kind of thoughts filling my head on how much it must of sucked to have me as a sister. Seriously.
Such random guilt - guilt that I've never felt in my 37 years of being me. *sigh* I'm sure you're familiar with David Letterman's Top 10's so I sent my brother an e-mail for just sucking in general - these are the top 10 things I apologized for but I think I could of gone on and on...
The Top 10 I'm sorry's from your sister....I love you!
10. I'm sorry for taking my wigs and chasing you around the house with them when you were so obviously scared to death of them.
(He was like 3 at the time)9. I'm sorry for eating the St. John's aspirins when Jamie was babysitting and blaming it on you and lying about it causing such a panic and knowing they made you throw up all night trying to get it out of your system.
8. I'm sorry for stealing all of your bubble gum and candy when I was a kid. I could eat all 4 packs in a couple of hours and you could keep your 4 packs around for weeks.
7. I'm sorry for chasing you around the front yard when your arm was fractured and making you fall which broke your arm.
6. I'm sorry for laughing so hard at you when you snuck dads car out and rolled it the same day that they left for vacation.
5. I'm sorry for purposely taking your Star Wars actions heroes guns and light sabers and throwing them away on purpose.
4. I'm sorry for asking you to help me move but conveniently leaving out that I was moving to a 3rd story apartment with no elevator.
3. I'm sorry for ramming your head into the piano in the living room.
2. I'm sorry for thinking that all the girls you've cared for were never good enough for you.
1. I'm sorry for taking you to the Phase II when you were 15 and turning you into an alcoholic during your college days!
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Of course in true form my brother sent back a note saying he forgave me a long time ago for all this crap - which I knew already - but why does it bother me so much now? I'm like OCD (obsessive compulsive) about all these awful things I've done since I was a kid...it's incredible that my brother turned out as amazing as he has.
I know he'll never read my blog, I doubt he even knows about it, nor does he have time to fish around on my site to find it...I don't even know why I'm telling you this and airing it here, but it needs to be said.
When you get back, I promise to be so much better as a sister. I swear to God. Just please come home safe. I don't think I could handle it if anything happened to you dude. Please come back and give me the chance to be the sister I always should of been.
Much love,
Anna